Unsettle me

Lysa Terkeurst is one of my favorite Christian authors. She is just so relate-able. Her books and blog posts can make me cry with one sentence and then laugh with the next sentence. She makes it 100% clear that her life is not perfect. In fact I don't envy her life at all. But it is from those experiences that her wisdom comes.
Well....it's been a while since I have posted. And it's a new year. And blogging more often is one of my resolutions. So is eating healthy, exercising, and losing weight. Typical right? The blog post Lysa wrote today hit me really hard. Like....a nice slap right across my face. Ouch. There were three words that hurt the most though: Lord....unsettle me.
Who prays that??? Who even thinks that?? Those who do probably don't really mean it right? I mean, that goes against everything we think and feel. But just the fact that those three simple words hurt me so much shows that I'm touched by them. I'm impacted by them. They stir my soul. Make me feel uncomfortable, but in a good way. They draw me in and scare me at the same time. They convict. They challenge. They promise change.....a change that lasts. This is not just a resolution. This is a life changing prayer.
Here it is:
Unsettle me. These are the two words rattling about in my brain today. I almost wish it were a more glamorous prayer. Surely more eloquent words could be found for what I’m feeling led to pursue during this New Year. But these are the words, this is the prayer.

The funny thing is, I’ve spent my whole existence trying to find a place to settle down, people to settle down with, and a spirit about me worthy of all this settled down-ness. All of this is good. A contented heart, thankful for its blessings, is a good way to settle.

But there are areas of my life that have also settled that mock my desires to be a godly woman — compromises, if you will. Attitudes that I’ve wrapped in the lie, “Well, that’s just how I am. And if that’s all the bad that’s in me, I’m doing pretty good.”

I dare you, dear soul of mine, to notice the stark evidence of a spirit that is tainted and a heart that must be placed under the microscope of God’s Word. Yes, indeed, unsettle me, Lord.

Unearth that remnant of justification. Shake loose that pull toward compromise. Reveal that broken shard of secrecy. Expose that tendency to give up. Unsettle me in the best kind of way. For when I allow Your touch to reach the deepest parts of me — dark and dingy and hidden away too long — suddenly, a fresh wind of life twists and twirls and dances through my soul.

I can delight in hope that this is my year to change. I can discover reasons to appreciate my body and find softer ways for my thoughts to land. I can recognize the beauty of discipline and crave the intimacy with God it unleashes. I can rest assured though the journey will be hard, I will be held.
Goodbye to my remnants, my justification, shards, and tendencies. This is not who I am — nor who I was created to be.

Goodbye to shallow efforts, self-focus, and suspicious fears that I’ll never find victory in this area of my life. I am an unsettled woman who no longer wishes to take part in distractions or destructions.
Welcome deeper love for God and the realization I am made for more than this constant battle. Welcome my unsettled heart.

Read the whole post HERE.

LORD, UNSETTLE ME