......that I may know Him

"You need to seek God....not just what He can give you. Rather than asking for peace, love, joy, etc, you need to seek a closer relationship, and the things you ask for will flow from your relationship. Otherwise, you are asking and seeking something for yourself. 

My goal is God Himself, not joy nor peace, nor even blessing, but Himself, my God.

'...that I may know Him.'" (Phil 3:10)
~Oswald Chambers




"I tend to forget that God focuses not on the success of my day, but on the godliness of my character. I focus on the results; He is committed to the process of making me holy. In my frustration and anger I am not just fighting people and situations......but God."
~Paul Tripp

Don't pull away

"Sweet friend, I know how it feels to want to completely shut down when life gets challenging and things happen that we don't understand. But if we pull away from praying, reading our Bible and going to church in hard times - we just suffer. If we stay committed to doing those things that keep us connected with God, we will experience an intimacy and power in the midst of our suffering we can’t get any other way.” - Lysa TerKeurst

Dear You…a letter for all of the hard days

D ear you,
Dear Self and me and you and us,
Really, it’s all going to be okay.
You’re going to be okay.

Promise. 
Remember when you were 16 with that ridiculous hair?

And how you’d thought that by the time you got to here, to now, it was going to be good? That by now everything would be all good.

That by now you’d know down in the very marrow of your bones, what it’s like to really live loved. That you’d be known. Fully known. And wholly embraced.

That the Big Dream would have happened, that the peace and the purpose and the Big Point would be under your skin, that the awkward would be gone and that you’d finally fit and that your life made a real difference, you’d made a real mark, and that you really mattered.

You don’t have to worry: We all get to make one unforgettable mark. And every day, with every word, we get to decide: Do we mar the world, or mark the world?

Why in the world disdain the small? It’s always the smallest strokes that add up to the greatest masterpieces.

You’ve got to remember: we don’t know when and how we are leaving the greatest marks on the world. 

The most exquisite marks anyone makes with their life — are the marks done in secret. The mark that no one — but One — will ever see.

I know you’re brave … and you’re scared. Because you keep doing big things that seems so small and you wonder where all this is really going and you only get one life here —
And though you’re weary, you do hard things....So Just For Today — listen: you’ve got to keep going. 

So go get the milk and take out the trash and throw in the laundry and wave giddy to the neighbors because there is a plan and there is a purpose and there is a God in heaven who didn’t just ink you onto the palm of His hands but etched your name right into Himself with nails .

So really — you’ve got to believe it it’s all working out okay.
Because God’s writing your story and He never leaves you alone in your story, and His perfect love absorbs all your fear and His perfect grace carries all your burdens, and your story is a happily ever after because Christ bought your happily ever after so you always know how this story ends:
You’re going to be okay.

Dear Self, tuck this away to read again whenever you need to know it again — and promise me, you’ll laugh and sing and dance a bit today?

Love,
Me

Source

First Thing

We must make a habit of waking up in the morning with the same question on our lips:   "Lord, how can I bring you glory today?"

How to get a good nights sleep

“So then faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God.” Romans 10:17 (NKJV)

Here I am, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. No sleep. Body still, mind racing. Panic building.

Why does life seem darker at night? Not just literally. It’s as though Satan and his minions are just waiting for me to be alone so they can begin the battle for my mind.

Recently I began to meditate on Philippians 4:6a: “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything” (NLT). Did the Apostle Paul really mean not to worry about anything? Is that even possible? Isn’t worry just part of human nature?

Yes, worry is part of our human nature. Unfortunately when sin entered the world, emotions like worry did too. However, our fallen human nature always clarifies what being separated from God looks like. And it often looks like fear.

As God’s beloved children, we are called to faith, not fear. Faith says, “God is in charge of my life; I will trust Him, even when circumstances might suggest He’s not there. I believe God loves me and knows what is best for me.” Faith always crowds out fear.

My heart longs to live in faith; however, at times this is difficult. But here’s the key: “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” (Romans 10:17).

If I haven’t made time to hear from God through His Word, I find my prayers being more of a monologue of fear-based worry.

But when I make time to listen to God, I’m reminded of His promises and I become familiar with His voice. As a result, my prayers really do change from panic to praise. In bed at night, a dialogue evolves (no longer a monologue). When I turn to God with my concerns, I can hear His response. As John 10:27a tells us, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them …” (ESV).

God’s Word reminds us to put the kingdom of God first and the things we need will be ours (Matthew 6:33, ESV). In other words, when I devote myself to God first, all the rest will sort itself out, and this brings peace.

What is most pressing in your life right now? Whatever that is, put God’s Word there instead. Replace worry with the truth of God’s love and power. Then we can trust that God will do as He says: “keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed” on Him (Isaiah 26:3a, ESV).

As I think about God’s promises, panic turns to praise, praise turns to peace and peace turns to sleep. I begin to understand what Paul meant when he said, “Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand” (Philippians 4:7a, NLT).

It is possible to experience God’s peace. When we learn to cast our cares on God and trust Him to handle them, faith replaces fear. Worry sees problems, but faith sees the God who can handle the problems.

God’s Word changes how we cast our cares. When we choose to cast them onto Him instead of into the air, we’ll find comfort in His promises. Then maybe we can finally get a good night’s sleep.

Heavenly Father, thank You for watching over me at night. Forgive me for the times I have worried. Help me to be devoted to You and Your love, not my circumstances. Instead of tossing and turning at night, I want to remember to turn the pages of Scripture in my mind. I want to rest in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

TRUTH FOR TODAY:
Psalm 4:8, “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O LORD, will keep me safe.” (NLT)

Isaiah 26:3, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” (ESV)

Devotion by Nancy McGuirk

“So then faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God.” Romans 10:17 (NKJV)
Here I am, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. No sleep. Body still, mind racing. Panic building.
I forgot to contact Pat today. She’s so sick and probably needed me.
Did my daughter realize she hurt my feelings with that comment?
What if I don’t make my deadline?
I should have exercised today.
Why does life seem darker at night? Not just literally. It’s as though Satan and his minions are just waiting for me to be alone so they can begin the battle for my mind.
Recently I began to meditate on Philippians 4:6a: “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything” (NLT). Did the Apostle Paul really mean not to worry about anything? Is that even possible? Isn’t worry just part of human nature?
Yes, worry is part of our human nature. Unfortunately when sin entered the world, emotions like worry did too. However, our fallen human nature always clarifies what being separated from God looks like. And it often looks like fear.
As God’s beloved children, we are called to faith, not fear. Faith says, “God is in charge of my life; I will trust Him, even when circumstances might suggest He’s not there. I believe God loves me and knows what is best for me.” Faith always crowds out fear.
My heart longs to live in faith; however, at times this is difficult. But here’s the key: “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” (Romans 10:17).
If I haven’t made time to hear from God through His Word, I find my prayers being more of a monologue of fear-based worry.
But when I make time to listen to God, I’m reminded of His promises and I become familiar with His voice. As a result, my prayers really do change from panic to praise. In bed at night, a dialogue evolves (no longer a monologue). When I turn to God with my concerns, I can hear His response. As John 10:27a tells us, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them …” (ESV).
God’s Word reminds us to put the kingdom of God first and the things we need will be ours (Matthew 6:33, ESV). In other words, when I devote myself to God first, all the rest will sort itself out, and this brings peace.
What is most pressing in your life right now? Whatever that is, put God’s Word there instead. Replace worry with the truth of God’s love and power. Then we can trust that God will do as He says: “keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed” on Him (Isaiah 26:3a, ESV).
As I think about God’s promises, panic turns to praise, praise turns to peace and peace turns to sleep. I begin to understand what Paul meant when he said, “Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand” (Philippians 4:7a, NLT).
It is possible to experience God’s peace. When we learn to cast our cares on God and trust Him to handle them, faith replaces fear. Worry sees problems, but faith sees the God who can handle the problems.
God’s Word changes how we cast our cares. When we choose to cast them onto Him instead of into the air, we’ll find comfort in His promises. Then maybe we can finally get a good night’s sleep.
Heavenly Father, thank You for watching over me at night. Forgive me for the times I have worried. Help me to be devoted to You and Your love, not my circumstances. Instead of tossing and turning at night, I want to remember to turn the pages of Scripture in my mind. I want to rest in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
TRUTH FOR TODAY:
Psalm 4:8, “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O LORD, will keep me safe.” (NLT)
Isaiah 26:3, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” (ESV)
- See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/from-panic-to-peace/#sthash.I5X6MYVt.dpuf

What's Exciting About Today....

"I must always remember that what makes a day truly exciting is not the circumstances or activities it holds. What's really exciting about today is the fact that I have a relationship with the King of Kings; that He has redeemed me and rescued me, and that I have access to the throne of grace. What's exciting about today is the fact that Jesus will never leave me or forsake me. What's exciting about today is the fact that this is the day that the Lord has made."
~Leslie Ludy

5 Best Things to Say to a Friend

In the midst of whatever it is that’s made your heart feel knocked off-kilter, can I whisper what I believe are the 5 best things one can say to a friend? And then might you give the gift of saying these things to a friend today?

This list is from our key verses, Romans 12:12-13, in a section titled “Love.”

1. “You’re wonderful.”

(Romans 12:12, “Be joyful in hope …”)

What a loving thing to infuse joyful hope into your friend’s life by reminding her why you think she is wonderful.

The world is quick to tell us girls all the ways we fall short. We are hyperaware of our faults and frailties.

So, what a precious gift to remind a friend of specific ways she’s a wonderful friend, a wonderful mom, a wonderful Jesus girl, a wonderful wife, a wonderful co-worker, a wonderful person.

2. “Me too.”

(Romans 12:12, “… patient in affliction …”)

What a gift to remind a friend we all have afflictions, hurts, faults and tender places. We all get sick both emotionally and physically.

The patient friend freely gives grace because she so desperately needs it herself. “Me too” acknowledges that I’m no better than you, but together we can get stronger. It is such a loving and disarming admission that we’re all in this together.

3. “I’ll pray.”

(Romans 12:12, “… faithful in prayer.”)

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to tell a friend you will absolutely be faithful in your prayers for her? I have someone who prays for me faithfully and even texts me Scriptures she’s praying.

But here’s what I really love about her. She doesn’t just pray about my situations. She prays me through them.
I honestly don’t know how she hasn’t gotten tired of praying for some of my same issues for so long. I get so tired of me … but she never does. What a gift. A gift I know I must pass on by being faithful in my prayers for others.

4. “I’ll share.”

(Romans 12:13, “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need …”)

When we notice a need in a friend’s life, might we be willing to step in and be part of the solution?

I have a friend who lost every possession she owned due to a chemical spill in her home. So, we threw her a “Job (like the man in the Bible) Party.” Each of us brought a few things to help her family start over.

We didn’t come close to fully meeting their financial needs. But we helped build a foundation of restoration and gave this family the assurance that God was working on their behalf.

5. “Come over.”

(Romans 12:13, “Practice hospitality.”)

Welcoming a friend inside the sacred space of our home is such a needed gesture. There’s just something about relationships that are less pixilated when we get eye-to-eye, voice-to-voice and talk. Really talk.

Over broken bread we share broken hearts. And then we celebrate the parts of us that are still intact. We reach across the table and across our differences to grab hold of the glorious bond of friendship.

Yes, these are 5 great things, maybe even the best things, to say to a friend. 

Dear Lord, thank You for the gift of friendship. Please show me who I can encourage today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Lysa TerKeurst.

 Devo by Lysa TerKeurst

In the midst of whatever it is that’s made your heart feel knocked off-kilter, can I whisper what I believe are the 5 best things one can say to a friend? And then might you give the gift of saying these things to a friend today? - See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/the-5-best-things-to-say-to-a-friend-today/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+p31encouragement+%28P31+Encouragement+for+Today%29#sthash.7gx926rw.dpuf

In the midst of whatever it is that’s made your heart feel knocked off-kilter, can I whisper what I believe are the 5 best things one can say to a friend? And then might you give the gift of saying these things to a friend today? - See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/the-5-best-things-to-say-to-a-friend-today/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+p31encouragement+%28P31+Encouragement+for+Today%29#sthash.7gx926rw.dpuf

In the midst of whatever it is that’s made your heart feel knocked off-kilter, can I whisper what I believe are the 5 best things one can say to a friend? And then might you give the gift of saying these things to a friend today? - See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/the-5-best-things-to-say-to-a-friend-today/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+p31encouragement+%28P31+Encouragement+for+Today%29#sthash.7gx926rw.dpuf

In the midst of whatever it is that’s made your heart feel knocked off-kilter, can I whisper what I believe are the 5 best things one can say to a friend? And then might you give the gift of saying these things to a friend today? - See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/the-5-best-things-to-say-to-a-friend-today/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+p31encouragement+%28P31+Encouragement+for+Today%29#sthash.7gx926rw.dpuf

In the midst of whatever it is that’s made your heart feel knocked off-kilter, can I whisper what I believe are the 5 best things one can say to a friend? And then might you give the gift of saying these things to a friend today?
This list is from our key verses, Romans 12:12-13, in a section titled “Love.”
1. “You’re wonderful.”
(Romans 12:12, “Be joyful in hope …”)
What a loving thing to infuse joyful hope into your friend’s life by reminding her why you think she is wonderful.
The world is quick to tell us girls all the ways we fall short. We are hyperaware of our faults and frailties.
So, what a precious gift to remind a friend of specific ways she’s a wonderful friend, a wonderful mom, a wonderful Jesus girl, a wonderful wife, a wonderful co-worker, a wonderful person.
2. “Me too.”
(Romans 12:12, “… patient in affliction …”)
What a gift to remind a friend we all have afflictions, hurts, faults and tender places. We all get sick both emotionally and physically.
The patient friend freely gives grace because she so desperately needs it herself. “Me too” acknowledges that I’m no better than you, but together we can get stronger. It is such a loving and disarming admission that we’re all in this together.
3. “I’ll pray.”
(Romans 12:12, “… faithful in prayer.”)
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to tell a friend you will absolutely be faithful in your prayers for her? I have someone who prays for me faithfully and even texts me Scriptures she’s praying.
But here’s what I really love about her. She doesn’t just pray about my situations. She prays me through them.
I honestly don’t know how she hasn’t gotten tired of praying for some of my same issues for so long. I get so tired of me … but she never does. What a gift. A gift I know I must pass on by being faithful in my prayers for others.
4. “I’ll share.”
(Romans 12:13, “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need …”)
When we notice a need in a friend’s life, might we be willing to step in and be part of the solution?
I have a friend who lost every possession she owned due to a chemical spill in her home. So, we threw her a “Job (like the man in the Bible) Party.” Each of us brought a few things to help her family start over.
We didn’t come close to fully meeting their financial needs. But we helped build a foundation of restoration and gave this family the assurance that God was working on their behalf.
5. “Come over.”
(Romans 12:13, “Practice hospitality.”)
Welcoming a friend inside the sacred space of our home is such a needed gesture. There’s just something about relationships that are less pixilated when we get eye-to-eye, voice-to-voice and talk. Really talk.
Over broken bread we share broken hearts. And then we celebrate the parts of us that are still intact. We reach across the table and across our differences to grab hold of the glorious bond of friendship.
- See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/the-5-best-things-to-say-to-a-friend-today/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+p31encouragement+%28P31+Encouragement+for+Today%29#sthash.7gx926rw.dpuf

In the midst of whatever it is that’s made your heart feel knocked off-kilter, can I whisper what I believe are the 5 best things one can say to a friend? And then might you give the gift of saying these things to a friend today?
This list is from our key verses, Romans 12:12-13, in a section titled “Love.”
1. “You’re wonderful.”
(Romans 12:12, “Be joyful in hope …”)
What a loving thing to infuse joyful hope into your friend’s life by reminding her why you think she is wonderful.
The world is quick to tell us girls all the ways we fall short. We are hyperaware of our faults and frailties.
So, what a precious gift to remind a friend of specific ways she’s a wonderful friend, a wonderful mom, a wonderful Jesus girl, a wonderful wife, a wonderful co-worker, a wonderful person.
2. “Me too.”
(Romans 12:12, “… patient in affliction …”)
What a gift to remind a friend we all have afflictions, hurts, faults and tender places. We all get sick both emotionally and physically.
The patient friend freely gives grace because she so desperately needs it herself. “Me too” acknowledges that I’m no better than you, but together we can get stronger. It is such a loving and disarming admission that we’re all in this together.
3. “I’ll pray.”
(Romans 12:12, “… faithful in prayer.”)
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to tell a friend you will absolutely be faithful in your prayers for her? I have someone who prays for me faithfully and even texts me Scriptures she’s praying.
But here’s what I really love about her. She doesn’t just pray about my situations. She prays me through them.
I honestly don’t know how she hasn’t gotten tired of praying for some of my same issues for so long. I get so tired of me … but she never does. What a gift. A gift I know I must pass on by being faithful in my prayers for others.
4. “I’ll share.”
(Romans 12:13, “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need …”)
When we notice a need in a friend’s life, might we be willing to step in and be part of the solution?
I have a friend who lost every possession she owned due to a chemical spill in her home. So, we threw her a “Job (like the man in the Bible) Party.” Each of us brought a few things to help her family start over.
We didn’t come close to fully meeting their financial needs. But we helped build a foundation of restoration and gave this family the assurance that God was working on their behalf.
5. “Come over.”
(Romans 12:13, “Practice hospitality.”)
Welcoming a friend inside the sacred space of our home is such a needed gesture. There’s just something about relationships that are less pixilated when we get eye-to-eye, voice-to-voice and talk. Really talk.
Over broken bread we share broken hearts. And then we celebrate the parts of us that are still intact. We reach across the table and across our differences to grab hold of the glorious bond of friendship.
- See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/the-5-best-things-to-say-to-a-friend-today/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+p31encouragement+%28P31+Encouragement+for+Today%29#sthash.7gx926rw.dpuf

Before my feet hit the floor

Each day when I wake up I pray a very simple prayer even before my feet hit the floor.
"God, I want to see You. God, I want to hear You. God, I want to know You. God, I want to follow hard after You. And even before I know what I will face today, I say yes to You.”
Might you try praying these words tomorrow morning before you start your day? This simple act of surrender each morning will prepare your eyes to see Him, your ears to hear Him, your mind to perceive Him, and your heart to receive Him.
~Lysa TerKeurst

Eyes Toward Him

"I have the type of personality that naturally desires approval from others. But God says, “the fear of man brings a snare” (Proverbs 29:25). So instead of worrying about what people are thinking of me or trying to build up my value in their eyes, I must deliberately choose to uplift, encourage, and exhort those around me - to demonstrate the nature of Christ through my words, example, expression and attitude. I don’t always succeed at doing this - there are still times when I allow insecurity or selfishness to hinder me from showcasing the Gospel to others. But I have found that when I purposefully ask the question, “How can I show Jesus to this person right now?” God gives me the wisdom and grace I need to point others’ eyes toward Him."
- Leslie Ludy

Worship....not Worry

"Yesterday the number of things I had to get done out-numbered the hours in my day. As soon as I woke up, I felt weighted down with worry, I knew I had a decision to make. I could worry about the hows and whens of my day. Or I could focus on one thing at a time, ask God for help and rely on Him to provide peace and purpose in the middle of it all.
I decide to let my worries re-direct my focus with thoughts about Jesus {WHO He is} rather than on who I felt like I needed to be, or what I had to get done.
I laid in bed thinking about what I needed physically and emotionally, and then I thanked God for being those very things: able, loving, patient, wise, compassionate. Gently HIS peace came over me as I positioned my heart and my thoughts to worship instead of worry.” — Renee Swope

Making Him Known

     Recently I have been feeling rather low. Stepped on. Not cared for. Taken advantaged of. Ignored. Forgotten. I have been the emotional/spiritual anchor for my friends for so long, that they have forgotten that I have feelings, emotions, pain, and sadness too. Some of my problems may not be as big or life impacting as theirs, but they are still a big deal and difficult to me.
     Even though I may have every right to feel forgotten and not cared for, I need to push those self-centered thoughts out of my mind. What good do they do anyways? They do nothing but make me angry and depressed. 
     Today's blog post by Leslie Ludy was exactly what I needed to hear today. I recommend you check it out HERE. In this post she talks about how when we try to be seen and the center of attention, Jesus fades in the background. Instead of trying to get some sympathy and attention, we need to jump out of the way and point others to Him. 

"Instead of striving to be noticed and appreciated, we are to take an entirely different posture into every area of our life - one of humility and self-denial.  Whether we are recognized and applauded, or disregarded and overlooked, it should make no difference to us.  A woman who has truly taken up her cross to follow Christ only cares about knowing Him, and making Him known."

A Morning Prayer

O Lord and Maker of all things, from whose creative power the first light came forth, who did look upon the world’s first morning and see that it was good, I praise You for this light that now streams through my windows to rouse me to the life of another day.

I praise You for the life that stirs within me:
I praise You for the bright and beautiful world into which I go:
I praise You for earth and sea and sky, for scudding cloud and singing bird:
I praise You for the work You have given me to do:
I praise You for all that You have given me to fill my leisure hours:
I praise You for my friends:
I praise You for music and books and good company and all pure pleasures.

O You who Yourself are everlasting Mercy, give me a tender heart today towards all those whom the morning light brings less joy than it brings to me:
Those in whom the pulse of life grows weak:
Those who must lie abed through all the sunny hours:
The blind, who are shut off from the light of day:
The overworked, who have no joy of leisure:
The unemployed, who have no joy of labor:
The bereaved, whose hearts and homes are desolate:
And grant Your mercy on them all.

O Light that never fades, as the light of day now streams through these windows and floods this room, so let me open to You the windows of my heart, that all my life may be filled by the radiance of Your presence. Let no corner of my being be unillumined by the light of Your countenance. Let there be nothing within me to darken the brightness of the day. Let the Spirit of Him whose life is the light of men rule within my heart till eventide. Amen.

~John Baillie

Come to Me

    
     Have you ever been in a situation where you're just getting ready for the day, minding your own business, listening to some music. Suddenly a song comes on that you've heard a million times, but something is different about it this time. You don't hear the singer....you hear God. You hear Him telling you exactly what you need to hear, each and every word piercing your heart, bringing you to tears. He isn't telling you anything you haven't heard before, He just brings new meaning to the words. He knows exactly what to say and when to say it.....and I don't know about you, but I think it's pretty awesome that He sometimes chooses to use music to do that.

Jesus in my Life

"I am not a woman who should be labeled unable. I am a woman on a journey of learning how to make sure my reactions don't deny Christ's presence in me.
I am a woman who says yes to God not because my emotions and reactions are always perfect. No, I say yes to God because He is perfectly able to forgive me, love me, remind me, challenge me, and show me how to weather trials in ways that prove His Spirit resides in me.
I remind myself often that people don't care to meet my Jesus until they meet the reality of Jesus in my life." 
- Lysa TerKeurst, "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God"

Beautifully Dignified

 

"The power of Christ upon a woman's life ought to make her different than any ordinary, emotion-driven woman around her.....A woman who comes to know Jesus Christ is given the opportunity to live out beautiful femininity in the fullness of what God intended it to be - radiant, rock solid, and reigned by the Spirit of God..... We may be women with a great capacity to feel, but when we look to our Father to be our rock and fortress, a shelter to whom we continually resort, the One who is mighty and victorious in and through us, we are also women with a great capacity to go throughout each day with steadfast joy, unwavering peace, and a gentle calm that truly makes us different - and yet beautifully dignified - women of the Almighty God."
~Tessa Thompson

A Christ-Centered Friendship

"Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others." (Phil. 2:3-4)

     As I look at the world around me, I am constantly amazed at what the world calls a "friendship". Most friendships today are fickle, self-centered, fake, and emotional roller coasters. Many Christian friendships I know are unfortunately the same way. They are almost worse because they call their friendship "Godly" yet it is no different than the world; they are hypocrites. I believe that a majority of people today, Christian or not, do not understand what true friendship is. True friendship is modeled after Christ and putting the other person first.

     As the verse above indicates, we are to be selfless and focused on the interests of others. "...it is a daily disposition, a constant commitment to purposefully put the other person's needs above your own. When that is our attitude toward our friends, instead of thinking about what we can get out of the friendship, we begin to ask, 'How can I die to my own agenda for this friendship and be Jesus to her?'" Tell me, how many friendships do you see that revolve around THAT mindset? I must admit, I have never seen a friendship like that, not in my life, not in the life of anybody else. Sending little notes of encouragement her, paying for her coffee, surprising her with a memorable gift are all very nice things to do, but it goes beyond that.

     Friendships today are often not truly governed by Christ-like selflessness and because of this there is constantly misunderstanding, moodiness, emotional pain, and drama. Honestly, who really wants that? Yet we all seem to accept it like normalcy and do nothing differently. So, should we not show our feelings and emotions in our friendship? Should we keep it emotion free? Not at all. "...one of the sweetest aspects of a Christ-built friendship is having a shoulder to cry on and someone who will point you to Jesus in both sorrows and struggles." That is the key. Our friendships should not just consist of us running to each other with every single thing that has us upset, filling her ears with our complaints, giving worldly advice, and plotting what should be done about it. It is about us being a friend who points her to Jesus, both in the good times and the bad times.You know what that means though? We as individuals have to be controlled by and looking to Jesus, both in the good times and the bad times. "When two people are controlled and sustained by Christ individually, and then allow that to carry over into the friendship, the natural outflow is a relationship in which emotion, when it is present, only serves to edify and unify."

     We all get on each others nerves at some point. It is bound to happen, we are all human. There is really nothing we can do to stop it, but we can decide how to react to it. When your feelings are hurt by your closest friend, when she takes everything you say the wrong way, when she is selfish, what should your reaction be? Would you lash out and try to get even? Would you give her the silent treatment? Would you cry and put on a big show? Would you gossip about what she did to you? Or would you show her kindness, grace, love, and forgiveness? "The more God shows us our own lack, the more we realize that building a Christ-honoring friendship requires giving the other person as much grace for their mistakes as we want them to give us. (Col 3:12b-13a)" Our reactions as Christians should be totally opposite to how the world would react. We are to follow God's pattern of humbleness and forgiveness. Instead of focusing on your friend's shortcomings, you should really try to see what God is doing in their life, how God is working in their heart.

     How are your friendships? Are they Christ-honoring and Christ-centered? Are you being a Godly and selfless friend? If not, are you willing to be? Perhaps you are willing to be, but none of your friends are want to change. "If any of our close friendships are not pressing us on into a deeper spiritual life and shaping us into selfless, others-focused friends, it may be time for us to ask God what practical things we could do to change them so that He, and not the joy of a kindred spirit, is the prize." It is not going to be easy, but it will most definitely be worth it. It may not happen right away, but God will bless you for your perseverance and your want to change and be more like Him, even in your friendships.

"A friendship that purposefully makes Him the center and draws both people closer to Him will become a beautiful testimony of patient graciousness, humble servitude, and selfless love- spurring others on toward that same, single-hearted pursuit."

*All quotes are from the Set Apart Girl article "A Set Apart Friendship" by Tessa Hershberger and Amy Meyers in the Jan/Feb 12 edition.